The long and awkward recovery from burnout

I am slowly but steadily recovering from a massive case of burnout. I wish I could pinpoint when I realized burnout had worked its sneaky magic, but it was more of a culmination of so many things. Many were self-induced, so many were situational, but, whatever it was, it sucks. And then what even sucks more, is to admit it. It feels like I’m complaining, quitting, or not wanting to put in the work. When I was simply facing my humanness.

Whatever it all is, it happened. I reached the point where I would get an email and just stare at it, and never reply. There was a lot of staring at things. Especially walls. I couldn’t bring myself to open my laptop, and I had hundreds of unread texts. Self-doubt didn’t help the situation very much, and being a part of the social media circus might be a massive factor in it all, too. The words algorithm and content make my jaw instantaneously clench.

I think we all suffer from burnout in different seasons, and it seems more and more prevalent nowadays. Is it because it’s so easy to compare every stinking aspect of our lives, and have a person with so much more on their plate appear to be absolutely killing it at life? Is it society’s productivity and dopamine and hustle culture? I mean there are so many different forms and factors, and I am sure if a Psychologist stumbles on this post they’d have a hay day diagnosing me.

It’s all so awkward. Admitting it, making change to avoid it, and recovering from it.

But, I am slowly but steadily unthawing from it all, and it’s such a breath of relief.

I wish I could give a bullet point presentation of an organized how to’s. But the main thing I’ve done is this: I cut myself some slack. I lowered my expectations for myself, and made room in my day to day to breathe.

Easier said than done.

I’ve worked my butt of in some shape or form since I was a teenager. So the “rest is weakness” mentality runs deep. Then, being a one person operation trying to keep up with the demands nowadays wasn’t exactly the best combo either.

So I’m kind of ditching a ton of to do lists or weekly goals, and just…running with the flow for a bit. I mean I still am self employed, and work from home so have to I set my daily priories, keep deadlines in check, and all that jazz. (Note: Working out and being active has been such a grounding and saving grace through this all. So yeah, not stopping that anytime soon.)

I guess what I’m putting a halt to is trying to be a machine. And although I might not be churning out as many dollars, posts, pics and products, it allows for more space. That space is uncomfortable at first, (mainly because of guilt.) But gosh, once you get past that BS,  peace, relaxation, motivation and inspiration are ready to be soaked up.

So that’s where I’m at. I’m still here and doing my creative thing, but I’m not really chasing anything at the moment. Maybe that’s a good thing. or maybe I need to figure out some new goals. (I am trying to take up song writing. Random, I know.) But I’m enjoying looking for little moments to stop and soak up life, vs. thinking of all the things I need to try to get done.

One of my favorite accounts to follow is cremelamare – which highlights people living their best lives in the Mediterranean. Think: lots of books, slow cups of coffee, sun-drenched long lunches, and naps. It’s basically showing a way of life that seems so beautiful, simple, and serene, but also badass, in a calm way. So I guess I’m trying to head in that direction, instead of being the next Gary Vee or something. Yeah, his bank account might be better off, but that old dude painting by the beach in Sicily is rich in so many other ways.

Let’s aim for that.

But I might swap the location with somewhere I could surf, too.

Hope this helps. I’m aware it’s a little vague, but I think the pressure to share so many details of life tends to add fuel to the burnout flame too.

Thanks for being here and reading post like this, I’m off to cuddle with my dog for a few minutes.

Rebekah