Well, I officially made it through the first month of being a mom. And what a crazy, holy cow I’ve learned a lot already, fun, perspective changing, whirlwind of emotions, month it’s been.
I wouldn’t say my brain is fried, but it’s definitely been in a dense, London-seque fog, that’s gradually rising. So, as much as I’d like to think I am capable of writing an eloquernt, well thought out post of organized thoughts about the past month…yeah, not so much.
So here’s the best I can (and want to) do: 25 random thoughts about bringing this little, ridiculously cute, and already extremely stylishly coiffed, kiddo into the world. And what he’s managed to teach me already. Even just by smiling, or falling asleep. Or making a single noise. Even it’s a fart.
Here we go.
25 random thoughts.
• Sleep is a five letter word I will hopefully get reacquainted with in a few more months, or years, or never. I don’t really care though, it’s worth it.
• Yeah, I’m sleep deprived, yeah I look like I got in a bar fight my dark circles are so bad, and yeah I just don’t seem to mind one bit. It’s a phase in life, and as with any phase, you just need to embrace it, learn from it, and keep on trekking. And drink lots of espresso shots along the way.
• I love espresso shots. And drive through coffee places. And have a new appreciation for Amazon Prime.
• Speaking of love, seeing my husband hold our kid or rock him to sleep is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen him do. A big behemoth of a man totally melting over a little nugget of a human is an amazing sight. Especially when he happens to be wearing just board shorts.
• Marriage rocks.
• This is the longest I’ve ever gone without being in the water or on the water in some form, for as long as I can remember. Eau yeah, I greatly underestimated how much that effects my mood and well being.
• Given that I popped out a 9 lb baby, my body has bounced back really well. High five for exercise.
• But, I’m not going to do any before/after or postpartum progress pics or posts. Mainly because, I am so sick of all the attention there is on women and how their bodies look in general, ESPECIALLY after having a baby. I am just over it. Stop talking about how our bodies look, and instead focus on all that your body does. Which, if you think about it is a whole lot more miraculous than looking good in a bikini or skinny jeans.
• So speaking of bikinis, I’ll be back in them sometime. In the meantime, designers who make all of these amazingly cool one pieces. I salute you.
• I never realized how thoroughly entertained, full of joy, and perfectly content I can be, just by staring at this little human.
• It will be really hard for me to consume pumpkin or split pea soup for a while because of what comes out of the aforementioned little human.
• Getting a baby to look at you and smile, has to be one of the best feelings there is. Along with winning powerball.
• And I am not sure if he looks like me or my husband. When he’s smiling he definitely looks like me though. That’s a given.
• Our pup, Kili, is absolutely amazing with Levi. She is his 4 legged big sister and loves her role. If he cries she rushes to make sure he’s ok, will cuddle up next to him, and is counting down the days until she can lick his face.
• When I am holding Levi, trying to figure out if he’s growing a dimple on his left cheek, I could honestly care less about so many minute things I tend to get reeled in with: social media, instagram followers, emails, chores, and anything not meaningful. In fact, I think it’s amusing how many people have stopped following me since I had a baby. Amusing…and intriguing. I’ll leave it at that.
• Being the always on the move, go getter, super active person that I am, it was honestly hard to rest, relax and heal. But I am so glad this little dude has taught me I am capable of that.
• I am still downing watermelon like it’s the greatest thing a human can consume. Which it is.
• Breastfeeding is no joke. Neither is how big my boobs got overnight.
• I asked my mom how she raised my older brothers, sister and I (I was having an exhausting day, with just one kiddo) her response…”I just did it.” I loved that. So yeah, that’s what I’m doing.
• I am so glad the new iPhone with an insane amount of storage came out, and that I was eligible for an upgrade, because the amount of photos I am taking lately is ridiculous. As expected.
• My perspective on the blog is changing a bit. I found myself in a feeling of I must post each day out of obligation, instead of I want to post about this right now, whenever it might be, inspiration. I’m slowly getting back to the inspiration route. Which feels so much better. And authentic.
• I find Babies R Us to be the single most overwhelming store to ever set foot in. Which is why I’ve only done it once.
• It felt good knowing I could go 9 months with no alcohol at all. In fact it showed me how I really don’t need it and how much more simple and easy things can be when it’s not involved. Yes, my first cold beer tasted blissfully fantastic though.
• During late night feedings I found my new favorite blog, misswhoo.com by Esther Houston. I don’t even follow many blogs, so that’s saying a lot. I swear God sent this gal’s posts into my life to help me keep it together. Even though she has no clue who I am, Esther, you rock.
• I feel like my days go by so fast that I am forced to actually plan my days ahead. Especially if I want to get to the beach. So thank you Levi for making me somewhat of an organized person, for now. And, if I ever doubt my ability to multi task, I can remember that one morning when I was pumping my boobs (so I had no hands free), bouncing Levi in his bouncer (with my foot) and singing Mele Kalikimaka to make him happy (was the only song I could think of at the time) all at the same time. High five.
• I can’t, for the life of me, figure out the whole baby wrap thing. But I haven’t given up yet.
• Having to do nothing but take care of a little human who is 100% dependent on you was challenging humbling, and has really made it hard for me to give my energy to something that’s not authentic. And is finally making realize it’s ok to to not do everything yourself, and ask for help. Which I suck at doing.
• I love how babies make being toothless and chubby the cutest thing ever.
• And I love how although there might not seem to be as much time for things I used to do, places I used to go to, and priorities I used to have…there’s been so much more space opened up for love in my heart.
• I just wrote this whole post with Levi sleeping on my lap.
• And he has the hiccups. Which are so stinking cute.
…along with his ability to have 5 second long farts.
There you go. 25 (or who owns how many I ended up with) random thoughts as them were barfed out of my brain. Hopefully this is as entertaining and enlightening for you to read as it was for me to write.
Life is good. Different, but oh so good.
Now off to get another espresso shot.
Rebekah (and Levi)