Well, we are moving. Again. Back to Seattle. Again. I wanted to wait and write about it until I was literally on the road, but it’s consuming my thoughts, so I just need to write some of them down.
First off, Why do we move so much? Easy answer. My husband’s job. He had a great opportunity, and I’m pretty pumped for him. And well, every move we make is a chance for me to grow and change this thing. So hey, let’s do this. Plus nothing inspires bright and colorful tropical art than weeks of gray Seattle days.
The irony of it all is we had a heartwrenching move from Hawaii to Seattle about five years ago. Or was it six? I’m losing count. Now we are leaving idyllic Emerald Coast beaches for the Pacific North West yet again.
I’m trying to make sense of what’s going on in my head. I’m kind of just feeling numb about it all. Maybe as a defense mechanism. Yup, that’s it for sure. A big old 24-hour ugly cry is inevitable. So far it’s just been random fifteen second sputters of tears and sobbing or random throat choking ups when certain songs come on Spotify. (Damn you Kaleo.)
I know things will all work out, everything will be alright, and I love the region we are moving to. There’s so much to do, and it’s absolutely stunning. Just a different kind. So things will take time. And I’m going to let those seconds tick. I’m an optimist and a positive person, but I also don’t think it’s healthy to just smile and say things are great. I do think it’s totally normal that I’m sticking lots of seashells in pockets of my coats and bags so I’ll find lots of souvenirs.
Moving is emotional for me. And mine are kind of all over the place…
Excited: because I mean I’m always up for an adventure.
Sad: because the beaches here speak my love language. Especially when raising my l’il dude.
Glad: that for some reason I never ever gave away the white rain boots I bought when we lived in Seattle before (and haven’t worn since.)
Frustrated: because we just bought a really cool house with all white walls and floors, and it’s back to beige rentals with horrible light fixtures (Ok I’ve seen some cool rentals but none seem to allow dogs over 5 lbs)
A little angry: Just because sometimes it feels good to get mad for a little.
Thankful: Because where we live has a large military population (Ironically we aren’t military, we just move a lot) and because of that, I’ve met some totally badass Military wives who have moved all over the globe, and twice as much as we have, which causes my pity parties to vanish. Always grateful for meeting rad new friends.
Mixed feelings: Because the 42-hour road trip we’ll have to get up there isn’t short. Especially Texas. With a 3-year-old and a pup. Thankfully my mom will do it with me, which means about five seconds of silence the whole trip. Idaho and Montana should be cool though.
Filled with joy: because…this is my life. and it’s too short to not find joy in any situation. Snowboarding, seaplanes, houseboats, hiking, and the PNW coastline bring me lots and lots of joy. So does excuses to buy new clothes. Guilty as charged.
Feelings = All over the place.
I just manage to get emotionally attached to each place we live, and once I know we will be leaving, my mind starts to look for things I’ll miss…sometimes it’s a weekly ritual (half mon bay when we lived in the Bay Area), a breakfast spot (Minnesota), kick-ass friends and neighbors (LA), Seaplanes ( Seattle) or every single thing I can think of ( Hawaii).
So, Navarre/Pensacola Beach Florida, I’m going to miss my early morning beach runs, the summer storms on the gulf, lightning shows, watching schools of rays surfing the waves, Southern Hospitality, the shells, the sand, the water…and all my beach days with Levi.
Now, we will enjoy these next few weeks, and then see what Seattle has up its sleeve.
Should be fun.
Especially the direct flights back to Hawaii.
Pictured: Sandy jeans. I took this on our last beach day here as a family. It just pulls on the heartstrings…for various reasons.