Everything’s Gonna Be All Right

I had one of those mornings today. Everything had been snowballing for a few days, actually, and somehow all the different emotions, anxieties and worries just decided to come pouring out at once this AM. 

The tipping point? Our fenceless backyard. Always an interesting combination with a dog and a toddler. Toddler went one way (only wearing a diaper and totally covered in smoothie) and dog went the other way to “greet” some man walking his dogs across the street. (In her extremely vocal and excited manner.) Everything turned out fine, but I was a mess. Feelings of inadequacies, loneliness, worries, and just plain frustration all came pouring down. 

We went inside, regrouped, cuddled, and I tried to breathe a bit. Then we all went on our morning walk together, and the tears just started flowing. My crew cheered me up and things got better, but the darn little negative Nancy voice in my head kept on chirping away. Dogs and toddlers feed off of this energy like none other, so I just kept on taking deep breaths, trying to be present, and then things got a little better. 

I promise there’s a point to all of this, and I’ll get to it soon.

So, when I’m in this weird, quasi depressed, negative, stressed, lonely and feeling like a pile of crap mindset, the best thing for me to do is workout. So we headed to the gym. I even stopped and got some coffee on the way. SInce coffee and cheerful baristas make everything better too. And then, while en route to the YMCA, the song came on. 

Bob Marley. No Woman No cry. 

Damn I love that song.

So.

Much.

Well, when it got the the part where Bob repeatedly sings, “everything’s gonna be all right” The tears started flowing. 

I just love how he sings it seven more times. He just hammers that message home. I know he wasn’t singing about me or my life, or situation, but I needed it. I pressed rewind and just kept on listening to that part over and over and over…

Everything’s gonna be all right. 

I sang along, or tried to since my throat was clenched like a fist. And then all the negativity started to just lift off of me. 

Yes I feel claustrophobic being landlocked, and not being able to go hop in the ocean makes me feel like a weird version of my self. 

But you know what…Everything’s gonna be alright.

I’m a bit exhausted, since I’ve been staying up every night until 2am since its the only time I can work.

But it’s worth it…and everything’s gonna be all right.

The number on my bank statement keeps getting smaller, and the checks coming in are less frequent. 

You are not the only one dealing with this…and everything’s gonna be all right.

I keep on feeling like I’m just not ENOUGH anymore…in so many ways…whatever that means. I think a lot of us have that weird vague feeling.

Screw that thought. You are enough…and everything’s gonna be all right. 

Am I being a good mom? Gosh, I look like crap today. My life feels like Groundhog day lately. 

Just…don’t go there. Everything’s gonna be alright.

Damn you Instagram algorithm. 

It’s just an app that people put way too much value in…Everything’s gonna be all right. 

And why the hell did my dog, who I’ve endlessly trained decide to run off and scare some man to death this morning.

Everything’s gonna be all right. 

Man it just felt good writing all of that.

My point of this all is….when life has it’s snowball moments, don’t dodge them. Let it all out, breathe, turn on some Bob Marley, preferably track #2 on his greatest hits album, and repeat after Bob… 

Everything’s gonna be all right.

It might not seem like it at the time, but it will. 

And in case anyone is wondering, we made it to the gym, and I had an epic workout this morning. I hardly use that word, epic. But it was just that empowering. 

Workouts and Bob Marley. Who knew what a helpful combination they can be. If anyone has a “snowball” type of day I highly recommend that combo.

Thanks for reading this all, now go listen to some Bob

Love, Rebekah

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