Connecting the dots. On paper.

A perk of journaling: It tends to produce juicy thoughts that tend to make all of the craziness make sense. A perk of always having a journal in hand: You can document those juicy thoughts. Or any thoughts at all.

Which is why my goal for the summer = to journal more.

And there’s a good reason why…

After having a kid it seems like I’m losing my ability to think, write, and well, let’s say Mom brain is alive and real, especially with numerous relocations in the mix. But whenever I sit down and put pen to paper, it seems to go away. Yet finding time to do that takes effort. Lots of effort.

Yes, this blog is kind of a journal at times, but it’s so important to have those spaces where you can just write, think stuff out, and get what’s going on in your brain down on paper. I had this big fat spiral journal that I filled up in my college and high school years (It literally had Big Fat Journal embossed on the cover, and that sucker was massive.)  It’s honestly extremely sad and heartbreaking to read some of it now, but then hilarious at times, too. It’s cool to look back and see growth and knowledge as a person, views on relationships, or just how our perspectives tend to widen each year. (I guess it’s called gaining some wisdom, right?) Let’s just say thank goodness I am not eighteen anymore. Or twenty-two. Or partying like I did in College. Or gosh, my junior year in high school was so brutal. I was a mess.

But looking back, it all makes sense and has turned out more beautiful than I could’ve ever planned it to be. Which, in a time where it seems like manifesting your dreams and being able to have things go exactly as you want if you just plan accordingly and work hard enough seems to be ALL the rage, I’m here to remind you…sometimes sh*t just doesn’t go as you want it to. But, no worries. It ends up turning out better than anything you could’ve planned.

To quote one of my favorite quotes, “Man makes plans and God laughs.” And he has a great sense of humor…

Just a few examples:

I ended up going to a college I never even thought of attending. Like, it wasn’t even on my top 30 list. (The head football coach at my high school, who was also my advisor, talked me into going on my recruiting trip there…then the rest was history.)

I planned on going to graduate school overseas. Never happened. I did graduate with a killer GPA then worked on a golf course after college, cleaning toilets and golf cars, loading and unloading golf clubs, picking up range balls, parking cars, and being covered in trash juice after working 12 hour days. (Turned out to be the best non-career job I could ever have)

When I got my rejection letter from that aforementioned overseas graduate school, my boyfriend at the time who I’d been dating for a few months (who is now my husband of 11 years + 5 years dating) knocked on my door to pick me up for a date LITERALLY the second after I read “We regret to inform you we will not be offering you admission.” You can’t make stuff like that up.

I envisioned myself having three kids by age 26. I finally had one at age 34.

I planned on climbing the ladder in the creative world of advertising. Then the recession hit, I was unemployed and glad to have any job I could find to help pay the bills.

Then, that “any job” I landed turned out to be a great job with a rad, surf-loving boss, who knew the value of balance and gave me flexibility, which let me gradually start this blog.

My husband and I thought living in LA was as good as it would get, then a job opportunity arose for him in Hawaii.

Once we set foot in Hawaii, I never, ever, ever wanted to leave. I never even thought of it.

But we did.

The story and its list of ironies go on and on and on and on and on. I could write a book.

It’s a crazy, twisty, beautiful scenic route kind of story.

And I’m glad I’ve had a journal in hand at times to help me remember it. Then looking back after connecting the dots, I can see that they’re all painting a pretty darn beautiful picture.

So yeah, go buy a journal. Fill that sucker up.

And, if stuff isn’t going according to how you planned it, just remember sometimes the best thing you can do (or learn to do) is rolling with what life ends up throwing at you, and figure out how to love the hell out of it. Trust me, God’s plan is pretty remarkable.

Or whatever I scribbled above, “Things haven’t really gone according to plan, but it’s all turning out more beautiful than I could’ve ever imagined.”

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  • W O W. Life is amazingly wonderful even if you are not in control. God has the Bigger picture already perfected. Thanks for the recap of all your well lived years.