Well, this move is kicking my butt – emotionally. It’s been a roller coaster, and I’m kind of having anxiety like never before (I’ve always been a super laid back, easy going, rarely worry, go with the flow type of gal) ..so this anxiousness has me thinking that being a recluse sounds lovely. Urg. But, I’m also realizing a lot of that is just me getting waaaaaaaaaay ahead of myself, and also realizing no person on the planet is harder on myself, than me. I also think I’m a bit mentally exhausted and am wanting to just snap my fingers and be back in my groove again…after driving 2.7k miles across the country. Yeah, there’ s quite a few unrealistic expectations involved too.
So, I’ve got this great combo going on: Anxiety, self-deprecating thoughts, exhaustion, and too many expectations. Fun times. Good thing I’ve got a 3-year-old who is showing signs of being a stand-up comedian in the future as my sidekick.
Which leads me to this solution:
Take it one day at a time.
…And sing my favorite part of my favorite Bob Marley song in my head as many times as needed, “Everything’s gonna be all right.”
Taking things one day at a time works like a charm. Just tackle each day’s tasks, and don’t think about tomorrow’s. For today that means taking my dog for a walk/to go to the bathroom: which means having to walk my super leash aggressive dog through a busy hotel lobby with my 3 year old budding standup comedian in tow (who, when going from point A to point B, resembles a butterfly on red bull. And likes to talk to everyone.) Solution = give my son a Piggyback ride through the lobby, so I can use both hands to walk our dog and have leftover sausage from the free hotel breakfast in my pocket in case we encounter anyone, especially at the elevator. So far so good.
Also, moving boxes: realizing I don’t have to unpack it all in one day. Which I’ve done in the past because…well, moving sucks. (But on the plus side it helps you sort/get rid of things. Which means a major clothes/shoes purge is coming soon. Which is oddly therapeutic. It’s like closure from your closet. Why is it that getting rid of things is more fun than buying things?
Ok, back on track…
Breathe. I’ve been stopping and taking these dramatic deep breaths, I don’t care if it looks weird, or I seem dramatic. It feels fantastic. ( Sidenote: I also haven’t been able to work out as regularly as I’m used too…which might be playing a huge factor in this whole moodiness. Yet another reason why working out is amazing.)
Bob Marley. I wrote about it before, but something about these lines of the song always speaks to me…Everything’s gonna be all right. It really is. Then he hammers it home about a dozen more times. Times might be challenging, but they make you grow. Bad things happen, and you figure out how to deal, and get through them. Great moments happen (Ummm taking some scenic routes in Montana on our way up here. Wow.) And you savor those suckers up. Tears flow, tempers flare, doubts chirp nonstop in your ears, but I’ve realized that’s all just temporary, and well, everything’s gonna be all right.
Gonna go listen to that song again. (Sidenote: Sweet Music by Hozier (or anything by him, really) is a great mood lifter too.)
Don’t get me wrong, life is good, just different. And it always has those moments of beauty – even if it’s giving your son a piggyback ride through a hotel lobby while walking your dog.
I can’t wait to get out and explore this beautiful region we get to call home. But in the meantime, I’m just going to tackle unpacking, remember to breathe, maybe try to find ways to break a sweat, and finding where the hell my groove might be.
Maybe it’s hidden on some uncrowded lake nearby in the mountains…or paddleboarding off of a little island over on the sound.
Just thinking of places like that makes me feel better.
See, everything’s gonna be all right.
Now, off to unpack.
Pictured above: My favorite lyrics all written out for ya + I didn’t take many pics on our FL to WA road trip, but golden hour in Colorado called for a snap (and that hat makes me feel like a total badass…which comes in handy.)
You’ve got this. I come to you – for inspiration, for a sense of reality, for strength – on a regular basis. If anyone is resilient it is you. The major life changes you have endured simply boggle my mind but you have always done it with grace. Because you are a badass (even without the hat)! 💗
Thank you thank you thank you thank you so much for this Jenn! Especially for the badass part…ok, for all of it 🙂
Sending hugs. Smile. Breathe. Everything’s going to be absolutely all right. (And is that song not the most amazing source of peace?!) You’ll find your groove, Rebekah. ❤️
Playing Bob Marley in the house This morning! Thanks so much, Sara, the groove is going to be found soon 🙂 ….and hope you are doing well!
Every little thing’s gonna be alright! I feel you. You’re working through a lot of life. Go easy on yourself. Your blog brings such joy to me. I’m sending you that joy back through the internets and the ether and wishing you lots of strength, courage, deep breaths and living in the now!
thank you so much Lissa! Means a lot to know this blog brings you joy…because creating it for you all brings me SO much joy! It’ll all be alright, and thanks for sticking around through the ups and downs!
Rebekah, I totally get this feeling!! I also have been struggling with anxiety over the last few weeks and it is really hard. I have been trying to figure out my whole life and want to know all the right decisions and choices RIGHT NOW. And I just need to stop and get back into my flow. It has gotten a bit better since I had a break last week and spent some time reading and doing lots of journaling. I am trying to let go and just as you said – just live day to day for now. And stop trying to figure everything out! So here’s to lots of deep breaths and some laughs. Both totally help!
So glad you can relate! Anxiety is the WEIRDEST feeling for me, and it’s crazy the places our minds can take us when we think of everything BUT the resent. Cheers to deep breaths and lots of laughs for sure..it’s amazing how much they help!